“if you find yourself at home in a downtown music venue as you do within the margins of a City, if you are fluent in the indie music scene, resist eating at big box establishments, exegete the arts to find Life, then we might want to talk. ”

Hmm, indie music… not eating at Mickey D’s… hip venues…. yep that sounds exactly how I would describe what is needed for ministry. If you didn’t catch the sarcasm in the previous statement then let me just tell you that this sort of garbage has more to do with pushing the “Christianity is cool” idea than anything else. You can love indie music, and be a frickin’ vegan, those are fine for life choices, but that has nothing to do with being a pastor. How about instead of looking for someone who is just going to be trendy, we look for someone who is going to steep himself into the word and is going to guide our children into the truth like he should. Someone who realizes that parents are not antithetical to youth ministry and that you are not going to do anything by being a big kid that never grew up so he can fit in. It gets better…

“[our Church] is well aware of the countless excuses lurking around present-day teenagers, and our leadership team is committed to providing the solution – excitement.”

Excitement? Really, that’s your solution… excitement? If I sound dumbfounded it’s because I am, however I really shouldn’t be as this is honestly what most church’s philosophy of youth ministry is, they just don’t encapsulate it so blatantly. Our solution isn’t Christ, Biblical teachings, doctrine, or Christian community, just something exciting; which is a battle the church will always loose. Let’s see, the world has sex, drugs, sex, alcohol, sex, parties, and did I mention sex. What excitement can we offer? Bible study and late night Volley Ball, ooo color me excited! We are so scared that our kids will go be bad that we will do anything to stop them from doing so, and unfortunately our strategy is to just distract them from sin long enough before they can get married. None of this changes lives. The way of Christ can be earthy and messy, but it is the only way. Sure we can have large crowds by having Xbox parties, and while I am not against fun, it isn’t going to change lives if that is all we have.

These examples arn’t even the worst ones I have seen. We need to realize that these people are on the verge of being adults, heck in another time or culture they would be adults. But in our youth obsessed culture we expect people to be kids until after they finished college, if then. We need to instill into them what Christianity really is and none of it is about excitement, being cool or even being happy, it’s about sacrifice to Christ, and if we don’t sacrifice, then we are not Christians. (Matthew 10:37-39) There are kids out there that are hungry for that message, they have been getting milk their whole life and now they need something more. It won’t bring large crowds, it never has, but biblical truth is what people of all ages need. In the end, if a youth ministry isn’t about discipleship, then it isn’t a ministry at all.

1. If you’ve never heard of it, or never had it, try it.

The first rule of discovering the wonderful world of beer is to try out as many as you can. I generally like to start with things that you can find anywhere, that way I have a base knowledge of different beers whenever I go out someplace and it gives me a good point of reference. Your local grocery store will surely have something you have not had before so give it a try, a good place to begin is to simply pick up something that has a different color than the yellow stuff you have always had. Try something brown or orange or black, there is a reason why they are that tone and it’s not because of food coloring, the reasons why can be known later, right now just try out a base of beer, you will like some and hate some but it will be an experience none the less.

2. If you can’t pronounce it, it’s good.

It may be intimidating but that bottle of Hustenfortwiebelwiessen is the good stuff. This rule may sound snobbish but our German, Belgian and European brothers have been making beer for a lot longer than anyone in America has, heck it’s not uncommon to find a beer who’s recipe is still being bottled that has been around longer than our country has. Americans can do some things great, like making firearms and rock n roll, but for beer I have to admit who is better at it. Now there are some micro brews and other anomalies in the US that have a great drink, but for the beginner this is a good place to start. And if you are worried that you wont say it right, it’s okay, you can just point at it, chances are the waiter doesn’t know how to say it either.

3. If it has a monk on the label, then it’s also good.

This applies to Saints, Popes and other religious symbols as well. The fact is, as a friend of mine has pointed out many times before, the best beers are made by Christians. In fact many monasteries in the middle ages were breweries as well, as it helped the monks cope with their fasts. Beer has been around sense almost the beginning of civilization, the Christians, however, made it an art form. Perhaps that is why beer in America can be so bland, because our Christians have abandoned it as a sinful vice to secular industries. So Just remember if you see a nice fat man in a brown robe smiling at you, go ahead and give it a try.

Hopefully this will help some people to step outside of the same old beers and try something a bit more adventurous. I’ve had beers taste so much like vinager that I couldn’t finish it, I’ve had beers that poor out like ink, and I’ve had beers that were so flavorful that it made others seem like colored water. You may find some duds out there but more than not I have been surprised at the variety and enjoyment that I have gotten from beers all around the world. In the end just remember the wise words of Benjamin Franklin “Beer is proof the God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

1. We have given up passion for “mission statements.”

2. We have traded in our calling for the discipleship of all people for “specialized ministry experience.”

3. We have given up the biblical qualifications of a bishop and traded it in for a Master’s degree.

4. We deride postmodernism as an invention of Satan and act as if Modernism was invented by Jesus.

5. We have no concept of promoting the varieties of gifts that we are given “for the common good.” (1 Cor 12:7) and instead only care about placing people into vacancies of our formulaic, uninspired “ministries”

6. We have Pastors and Elders that are disassociated from their own community of believers.

7. We desire candidates with 10 years of ministry experience, and an M.Div. and then want to pay him $20,000 a year.

8. We pass up those that want to serve because they do not have “full time staff” experience even though they have served in the church all their life.

10. We expect youth pastors to be cool, hip and relevant, but not so much that lives are actually changed apart from what the modernist elders want.

11. We say if you are young then you have to be a youth pastor, even though God has given different gifts to various people.

12. Those who wish to be youth pastors we then look down upon as immature and not as sophisticated as a “real pastor” even though that may be his gifting. I suppose we expect the least experienced person to teach our children.

13. The fact that we have any “entry level position” in a church.

14. The fact that we “hire” people as “employees” to service us instead of true pastors who are called of God to minister to the people of God.